Quality In Life – Living Smarter…


Better versus Perfect, a pattern of change.

I’ve observed a pattern that I want to share with you. It seems important because it is common, and it affects how we view the world around us. Whether we are opposed to change or embrace it. Whether we feel that a change is “enough” or “over the top”.

Now I’m only interested in addressing change that moves us from an undesirable state to a better state. And I’m only interested in addressing change that is intentional, requiring the will of people to accept it and successfully make a change. There is this principle at work, that people tend to look to a perfect state, and if they can’t achieve that perfect state, then they won’t even attempt to improve things at all.

I’ll apologize, this article has been delayed because I’ve been bogged down with examples and keep missing the essence of what I’m trying to capture for you. I see the process like a bell curve. At first we are blithely continuing on doing something harmful. Then there is information introduced that leads us to believe that what we are doing may not be all good and perfect. We resist the idea, we like the status quo, some early adopters start shifting away from harmful activity. Following this there is a less harmful activity offered, and it becomes more popular/accessible to do things the new way, but the new way is still causing harm. Eventually the information, the education and the innovation continue, and people are moved from doing lots of harm, to doing less harm, to doing no harm, to actually reversing the process and undoing harm (repairing cumulative damage from prior activity).

We saw this with the hole in the ozone layer. We were using CFCs and other chemicals that actually caused a depletion of high altitude ozone, which showed up most obviously at the South Pole. Through education about what was going on, we as a global community were able to see harm, see the cause of the harm, make changes to reduce the harm, eliminate the harm and even remedy the harm.

Or take smoking. 50 years ago in North America it was passed off as “sophisticated”, healthy, normal, fashionable, and social. Education about the effects of smoking has been difficult to absorb. People didn’t want to give up their sophistication, their habit, the social aspects of smoking, or their FREEDOM!!! Please someone get me a flag. Even the cigarette companies started “reducing harm” they added filters, bigger filters, reduced tar etc in an attempt to make their products less harmful or decrease the perception of their harm. (How could breathing a carcinogen be bad for me? I breathed it through a paper filter.) Now we have people quitting, and their lungs by wonderful design are actually recovering with the risk of nasty diseases cut by as much as half 1 year after quitting. (We aren’t out of the woods with smoking yet are we?)

Education, publication, and dissemination of information come first. These make qualitative judgements on our actions “smoking may cause cancer” -> “smoking causes cancer” -> “Second hand smoke hurts your children you horrible person”. Now Judgement is a loaded word so lets use the relatively neutral word “evaluation”. An evaluation of a course of action is that it is not beneficial. This is judgement or discernment, or discrimination in the classic sense, but in our North American culture where discriminating shoppers sound horrible and where judging someone’s actions sounds intolerant, we are better off with retaining the idea of evaluating something sans baggage. Nobody likes to have their actions evaluated, and find that the evaluation requires them to change how they are living. But Education and evaluation create an opportunity for change. They show us the door, walking through it is up to us. This education and evaluation is not enough to continue on this pattern of change for the better. There needs to be will as well.

By this point in your life, you are familiar with the resistance of people to change how they do things. Big industry didn’t develop a conscience, they were forced to pollute less by legislation. Very few smokers successfully quit the first time they hear about health risks. There are always explanations for why we don’t change including. It can’t be done, it is hard, it is costly, it is inconvenient, it would hurt the economy, the alternatives aren’t much better, I was born this way, this is my right, and I don’t want to.

Will is essential in making a change. Without will the opportunity to change is merely academic. An interesting theory to be tossed around at the dinner table and then forgotten. The will to improve must stand strong in the face of an entrenched status quo, and in the face of active resistance and even counter-information.

e.g. “The link between human activity and global warming has not been proven” says the senator from the United States who received the majority of his campaign contributions from oil companies… 

Where there is a will, there is a way.  This way can be made easier through innovation (legislation, technology breakthroughs, new mindsets).

Now wanting to do no harm, or receive no harm is worthy, but it takes something more to pull people beyond the point where they stop hurting themselves or their children.  There needs to be a real self-lessness, or a real love that takes place in order to move into the healing phase.  The accountants won’t push us there because they are terrified of the costs of doing more than is required.  The lawyers were satisfied the moment we stopped harming, and are terrified that our attempts to heal could go wrong and cost us dearly. Its the lovers who need to lead this charge.  The idealistic dreamers turned world changers who move beyond “hurting others less” to “not hurting others” to “healing others”.

Lets test out this pattern with a real life example that is bound to have some people plugging their ears and singing “lalala I can’t hear you”.

Our cars consume gasoline that is refined from non-renewable fossil fuels. They produce exhaust that is deadly poison. (If you were to fill a room with exhaust and breath it for a short period of time you would die.) It is a scientific fact that there are a finite number of years of fossil fuels left on earth (http://www.energybulletin.net/659.html), and only a fraction of those fuels can be extracted at reasonable expense. So essentially by driving a gasoline powered car, I’m ensuring that humans consume what little fossil fuels the earth has left. Now the ideal state would be that my vehicle is powered by something plentiful (water) and produces no pollution (clean air). Then I could drive my car with impunity knowing I’m doing no harm (in terms of fuel consumption and air pollution). However, GM, Toyota, Honda, Ford, Chrysler, Mazda and others have not started selling cars that don’t consume fossil fuels or pollute the air. So today at reasonable cost I can’t have the perfect car.

My desire to leap to “perfect” is what makes this change impossible. Were I willing to purchase a car that gets gas mileage / kilometerage? that was twice as good, I could effectively cut my pollution in half, and effectively cut in half my consumption of fossil fuels. Were I able to commute to work with 2 other people, I would effectively cut the pollution from my driving by 2/3 for the days we carpooled. Were I to do both, I could cut my pollution to 1/6 of previous levels. That is a hugely significant change.

Sometimes what blinds us to the possibility of improvement is our insistence on having our cake and eating it too. People think of the 2 weeks a year they spend on summer vacation and insist on purchasing an SUV with lots of “cargo capacity”, which they proceed to drive to work the other 50 weeks a year. (effectively a big empty metal balloon). There is an un-willingness to “sacrifice” (drive an efficient subcompact car), so the improvement in gas mileage becomes negative. I don’t want to carpool with people as that would put constraints on my “lifestyle”, versus I can carpool 1 day per week.  We tell ourselves stories, that are eerily similar to the stories the marketeers tell us, to justify our reluctance to improve and change.

I see incremental change as the best hope of reaching an ideal state. It is slower in terms of total change, but it is easier in terms of disruption, it is easier in terms of economics (consumer and producer).  It is easier in terms of social change and behavioural improvement.  It is far easier to plan a trip to the neighbours than it is to plan a trip to Grandma’s house, but if the neighbour’s house is on the way to Grandma’s house, then the journey in the right direction has already begun.

Do you see places where this pattern of better versus perfect emerges?



Eradicating AIDS within your lifetime.
AIDS is in the news because of the international Aids conference.
AIDS is no longer only the domain of homosexual males who have been the dominant group affected by this horrible disease. Anyone who has sex with more than one person, or who has sex with a person who has sex with more than one person is at risk. Anyone who uses contaminated needles to inject drugs into their veins is at risk.

 

Prevention:

There is much talk of microbicides, of condoms (raise your hand if you are thoroughly tired of hearing about condoms), of male circumcision, of antivirual drugs but there is one weapon in the war against AIDS that you will not hear mentioned.

“Self Control”

I know…  It sounds totally foreign to the discussion of AIDS doesn’t it?

I’ve heard it said, “We like our freedom, don’t tell me how to live my life, don’t be so judgemental, how can you be so condemning, have compassion for people with AIDS, don’t tell them they are at fault, this isn’t about blame, this is about love.” Or you can imagine dozens of other replies. But the fact is there is a huge “blind spot” when it comes to solving this AIDS crisis. Promiscuous behaviour spreads AIDS. If a man or woman has sex with more than one other person (lets drop the crap about calling every person that has sex a “partner”) they could potentially be transmitting or receiving AIDS (condoms break, no microbicide is 100% effective etc). If a man or woman rapes a person, they could potentially be transmitting or receiving AIDS. If a man or woman uses illegal intravenous drugs they could potentially be transmitting or receiving AIDS.

If we really wanted to stop AIDS, we could, by committing ourselves to;

  • Having only 1 lifelong sexual relationship, and encouraging those around us to do the same
  • Avoiding injection of illegal drugs, and working to help addicts detox, rather than supporting their addition through our ignorance.

Naturally there are exceptions, health care workers who are exposed to blood, infants who contract AIDS from their mothers but we are told again and again that these instances are exceptions, not the predominant cause of the spread of AIDS.

In North America there is very little lack of AIDS education in schools, from doctors, from TV, from books, from the Internet. We do however lack in many ways the morality that this North America had only a short while ago. To put it bluntly, we are consciously spreading AIDS because we care more about our “freedom” than we care about stopping this horrible disease. To put it more bluntly, there are people who would rather risk another’s life, than exercise self control.

Our government and our society and our health care providers are not a moral authority, so we can’t expect them to do this work. As evidenced by 2 decades of condom promotion and largely ineffective education, they have not solved the problem. Instead they seem determined to spend millions to develop treatments to treat the symptoms, while allowing the root causes to remain. (promiscuous sex and a cycle of chemical addiction, both of which ruin lives in more ways than AIDS). Whether you are a person of faith (and therefore adhering to a unambiguous moral code), or not, you have a responsibility not to kill other people or through your actions allow other people to be killed.

One bright light. This is the only bright light I see in the current AIDS crisis, so watch carefully. In Uganda there are people testifying that they are being healed of AIDS by the power of Jesus Christ.  From the reports I have seen, hundreds and hundreds of people can present the medical certificates showing they were HIV positive and now showing that there is no evidence of the virus in their bodies.  I’m not an HIV expert, but this sounds really really hopeful!

For the rest of us, and some who may not want to ask God to heal their AIDS in the context of Christian community, I suggest this pledge:

  • I will engage in sexual relations with only one lifetime partner.
  • If I have HIV AIDS and understand that there is the chance of having a baby who would be HIV infected, I will not have a baby, because I will stop having sex so I don’t cause the needless death of a baby.
  • I will not use intravenous drugs that are not administered under the supervision of a doctor.
  • If I am HIV positive I will tell my partner and will stop having sex so that I don’t cause their death.
  • If there is any chance that I have contracted AIDS (I have had sex with more than one person, or a person who is not a virgin / I have taken drugs intravenously without a doctor’s supervision) I will take an HIV/AIDS test to confirm if I carry the virus.
  • If I am HIV positive I will tell my doctor and will cancel any organ-donation agreement I have established, so that my doctor is informed of the risk and a person receiving my organs will not needlessly die.
  • If I am HIV positive I will refuse to donate blood to protect whoever might be receiving my blood.

Sex is such a tiny part of life, why would you allow your desire for it to kill someone. Isn’t thathatred in the extreme, to consider your need for pleasure so much higher than another’s need to live? Love is when you sacrifice something of yourself for someone else so that they can benefit.

Show love, Stop AIDS, Have the guts to say no to all promiscuous sex.

If you are still reading, then perhaps there is hope that you haven’t found these ideas totally offensive. I offer one more idea which carrys the weight of most of the world’s moral codes. 1 man, 1 woman, 1 marriage for life, 0 compromise. In addition to protecting against AIDS, it brings many advantages including relational stability, someone you can always trust, the opportunity for intimacy (I don’t mean sex), good support for raising healthy well balanced children, protection, nurture and more. Canadian society has been throwing out the idea of the traditional family since the 1960s and we are increasingly paying the price in our society. Every major faith in the world espouses what I know as a biblical model of marriage and family. There is protection in this God ordained model that we forego when we choose to live a different way.

Note: Have compassion for the people who have AIDS, don’t have any compassion at all for the behaviour that spreads AIDS. Separate the two. Love the people, hate the behaviour that hurts so many. Now, go and be the change you want to see.

Thanks for helping me change the world.